Spare me, O almighty Dogbird, I can take no more. First it was Easter and now it's this. In thy grand filth, Dogbird, spare me, thy Sweetlove, the naffness, the downdumbed yelps and pig-ugly steel railings, the eye-sore OAP cardiac arrests and the stupid, inconsiderate street closures, all in the interest of working-class sport. Have mercy on me in thy great perverted, blue rat-vomit wonder, O Dogbird. O mighty Dogbird, spare me the common, downmarket litter and the despicable, slime-soaked downmarket corporate logos. But most of all - oh, most of all, great Dogbird - rid mine eyes, ears and nose of those hideous, badly-dressed freaks. Ugh... the horror, the horror...May I, Sweetlove, sleep through all this evil, get totally sloshed and go get some decent doggy action down at the cottage at dusk (after the ball is over).
