Saturday, February 17, 2007

Lateral thinking on UK and US underdevelopment

This week Britain was revealed to be the worst place to bring up children in the developed world. Well, no surprise there then. Of course, I use the word "developed" loosely, dears.

The US came a close second-worst on the list. It's such an odd coincidence that the two most warmongering, uncaring-capitalist countries measured are also the only ones with a significant underclass. And, as mothers egg their toddlers on in common mobile-phone YouTube vid fights, Blair asserts that the latest teeny texting-related murder is certainly no metaphor for British youth. Nice values we have to spread in Iraq - altruistic, innit like?

May I get all Edna de Bono on your arses for a mo'? How about mobile-phone and internet exclusion zones in the innercity ghettos? In fact, ban the use of digital technology there altogether!! (I'm sure some bright-spark scientist can dream up a nice 'n' efficient cancer-causing device to replace those ugly, working-class masts.) Get them back to their b&w analogue tellies. It's either that or the old put-them-on-a-big-ship-sail-them-out-to-the-North-Sea-and-pull-the-plug ploy.

I'm lovin' it. Yeeha. Oh, I feel a poem coming on...