Beecham may have trodden in some Stockhausen, but Korngold said Schönberg played the dirtiest trick on music that had ever been done

118 today

Madmen of America

The aptly named Larry Pratt, exec director of Gun Owners of America, is currently arguing that, "The latest school shooting demands an immediate end to the gun-free zone law which leaves the nation's schools at the mercy of madmen. It is irresponsibly dangerous to tell citizens that they may not have guns at schools." WHAT. A. GUY. Edna salutes you, Pratt.

In related news, Edna can't wait to get hold of the classy new Quentin Tarantino movie tie-in doll, Rapist Number One. YEE HA.

What a load of sodding freaks. And while we're at it, here are a few words of wisdom from the Leading Arsehole of the States:

Notes from Untermensch

Edna's heading off to the opera today, dears. Isn't it odd how theatre audiences don't really do animal behaviour?

And now for some hellish Brit underclass action:

We can be heroes just for one day

I'm waiting up for a hero, dears, and this week Edna nominates councillors Alan Burkitt and Brian Gordon and academics Satoshi Kanazawa and Geoffrey Sampson.

Lateral thinking on UK and US underdevelopment

This week Britain was revealed to be the worst place to bring up children in the developed world. Well, no surprise there then. Of course, I use the word "developed" loosely, dears.

The US came a close second-worst on the list. It's such an odd coincidence that the two most warmongering, uncaring-capitalist countries measured are also the only ones with a significant underclass. And, as mothers egg their toddlers on in common mobile-phone YouTube vid fights, Blair asserts that the latest teeny texting-related murder is certainly no metaphor for British youth. Nice values we have to spread in Iraq - altruistic, innit like?

May I get all Edna de Bono on your arses for a mo'? How about mobile-phone and internet exclusion zones in the innercity ghettos? In fact, ban the use of digital technology there altogether!! (I'm sure some bright-spark scientist can dream up a nice 'n' efficient cancer-causing device to replace those ugly, working-class masts.) Get them back to their b&w analogue tellies. It's either that or the old put-them-on-a-big-ship-sail-them-out-to-the-North-Sea-and-pull-the-plug ploy.

I'm lovin' it. Yeeha. Oh, I feel a poem coming on...

I'll have what Orson and Richard are having