In related news, Edna proffers yet another of her infamously juicy red-hot tips: Blair has privately scotched rumours that David Beckham’s long-overdue knighthood “for services rendered to naff-voiced little turds” is imminent. David will receive his richly deserved (and not at all underhand, populist or downdumbed) honour in due course - the year before the very next general election, in fact.
While I’m on, I’d better send out a big “Happy Birthday!” and pay tribute to one of the great figures of the Twentieth (or any) Century - a great hero who would (and should) have turned a sprightly 117 just yesterday: schöne Adolf, unser Führer. He gets such bad press in some quarters sometimes (but after all what can you expect from a load of worthless hacks?). And while on the birthday jaunt, our very own beloved old Royal bint turned 80 today, still live and kicking - there really is no justice in the world, but she'll hang on for ever to stop Big Ears and Horseface getting the throne.