Wednesday, May 17, 2006

"Da Vinci Code" theorising (short but sweet)

Ahem, my theory that I have, that is to say, ahem, which is mine, is that all the puerile retards, crazies and god-sucking, fish-gobbling fascists who are up in arms about this pongy, downdumbed, tenth-rate, ugly mainstream SHITE need a good bunnying in their unwashed Christian bunnies. Because, although the vast majority of their hopeless, mentally defective, ill-educated flock can’t even read Brown’s simple-minded, tiresome, turgid, verbose, ill-written outpourings, they are able to sit zombie-like, gobbling disgusting popcorn and sucking on foul Coke (and whatever else) while proudly and noisily "mobiling" and "texting" friends and family that this product (oops, "film") has braindrained them over to the forces of atheistic leeeb'ral darkness. And I'm enchanted also that the American albino rights groups are annoyed as well - screw them.
(On a lighter note, dears, a Hanks snuff movie might actually be an eminently interesting proposition...)
Well, that’s it.
That’s my theory.
My theory that belongs to me.


knibilnats said...

yes, i agree. i don't think i have the same phlegm problem though.

Edna Sweetlove said...

You will, Oscar, you will.

Marfit said...

Well, you have certainly been a busty bunny in the time I've been away. Did I say busty bunny? I meant busy bunny. Although Busty Bunny sounds like a pretty fair companion for a certain rabbit I know. A rabbit who is randy.
I agree about ignorant twats who text in cinemas. Personally, I go there to watch films, not to text. They might as well get it when it comes out on video or DVD and text through that. What I hate are people who talk through films, and make jokes to make themselves sound clever. I had some ignoramus sat behind me during a film once, making crude and irritating jokes and even, to my dismay, making 'fart' noises. I expected he was about 10 though his deep voice suggested otherwise, but to my even worse shock, he was about 30. And popcorn? Utterly foul. It has the taste and texture of polystyrene. I know this because as a small child I ate a portion of polystyrene and it made me ill.
Keep ranting,

Edna Sweetlove said...

Welcome back, Humble, dearest. Edna salutes you. Your cinematic anecdote doesn’t surprise me in the least (though I admit I stopped paying to go to the cinema c.1970 when films started going all feeble-minded and childish and the audiences started getting uppity and unpleasant). Anyway, opera and theatre tend to be much hornier with many extra pick-up opps - the sad thing is, these vile oiks are starting to infiltrate there as well, thanks to nasty-arse, downdumby governmental bunnies like Chris Smith and Tessa Jowell… they’ve just got to go, quoth Edna.

Marfit said...

I love the theatre. We live near a few, but sadly they are mostly crap, and one of them has given one of its larger stages to a cinema screen, where people watch utter crap. Like that hideous film rendition of the Phantom of the Opera. I do love that musical, but the film is crap - all-American pricks with no feeling in their voices. The musical has become so mainstream that people write horrid 'fanfics' about it.

Anonymous said...

God bless your buttocks.